Mom's Guide
When should your daughter see a gynecologist?
A common misconception is that your daughter doesn't need to see a gynecologist if she's not sexually active. Most doctors now advise that a young woman's first visit occur before she turns 18, whether she's sexually active or not, because her body is changing and it's a good idea to make sure everything is going along okay. You also may want to make sure that your daughter is comfortable with a particular doctor before she becomes sexually active so that when the time comes, she won't have to start looking for the right doctor in a hurry. It may make your daughter feel more comfortable if you let her know that doctor will probably not do an internal (pelvic) exam if she's a virgin.
Many teens feel nervous about going to the doctor with their parents because they don't want the doctor to reveal personal information - especially if they're sexually active. But keep in mind that teens often crave privacy for these kind of issues even they are not having sex; it’s part of their process of becoming independent. Remember, this is an age when your daughter is pulling away from you and wants her privacy. At the same time, it can be really supportive for you to go with your daughter to her first visit, especially if it's not your own doctor. It's wonderful if you can meet the doctor first to be sure his or her bedside manner and experience seem like a good fit for your daughter. If it's possible, try to go to this milestone visit with her. But don't be put off by her desire to go alone.
You can still be involved by calling the doctor beforehand to express any concerns you have. But let your daughter go through the exam and talk to the doctor alone, while you wait in the waiting room. For the doctor-patient relationship to be most effective, your daughter needs to be able to ask the doctor questions in private. It’s a good idea to encourage her to make a list in advance so she doesn't forget anything. While your daughter may not thank you for bringing her on this experience, she will appreciate you being there for her.